Evolving Is The Hardest Part
The Dandy honors the chaos, beauty, hilarity, and ugliness of being alive as a woman at every moment—so we’d like to think it’s International Women’s Day for us 24/7. That aside, the most intriguing aspect of this highly commercialized holiday is how it sparks a conversation about our own personal evolutions.
From learned gender role dynamics in childhood to the patriarchal lens that has framed the way we view ourselves from day one, we have all battled with self-imposed challenges as a response to witnessing patterns that were out of our control.
Despite the cards stacked against us, we’ve all had to take personal responsibility over the years to heal societally-imposed wounds (or so say our dozen past therapists) in order to evolve. And so it turns out, that process may be one of the most difficult yet rewarding parts of being alive.
To celebrate the pain and significance self-growth, we asked three talented women in our community: musician Chase Cohl, actress Brenn Lorenzo, and writer Hannah Barbakoff about their own personal evolutions and which areas of their life they have observed the most positive change.
Chase Cohl
Photo: Kristin Gallegos
International Women's Day is about the evolution of women. The celebration of our achievements. I'm interested to know in what area of your life you feel you have evolved the most. Is it in your personal confidence? Your relationships? Your career? Healing of trauma? Or something else?
I find that I am in continual evolution. That is possibly the most beautiful thing about being a woman. Creatively, I am able to measure my growth most consistently through my work by exploring various mediums of expression—whether it be music, writing, or design. I am also a deep examiner of human behavior and writing helps me make sense of patterns over time and remain conscious. Staying true to my gut inclinations are crucial for that level of growth.
What I’ve learned most in my personal relationships and my relationship with the creative process is consistency. The feeling of continually showing up when needed and creating that cushioned space. I don’t quit on people. I don’t have that bone in my body. I once had a writing teacher tell me that the great romantic relationship of my life would always be that between myself and my artistry, and if I gave it the energy I would with a partner, I would receive it back tenfold. The older I get, the more truly those words ring.
Brenn Lorenzo
International Women's Day is about the evolution of women. The celebration of our achievements. I'm interested to know in what area of your life you feel you have evolved the most. Is it in your personal confidence? Your relationships? Your career? Healing of trauma? Or something else?
As women, there are many hurdles we have to jump over. We often have to make sure that our voices are heard loud and clear in many male dominated spaces. One area I feel I’ve evolved the most is in my self confidence—but more specifically, how I address situations. I used to be afraid of confrontation and speaking my mind because I was either too afraid of other people’s opinions or how the outcome would turn out. It took a lot for me to break out of that pattern and actually communicate how I felt. This was a huge step for me, because it’s so important to speak on how you feel and to never be afraid to give your opinion. Discovering the power of my own voice is a gift that I hold dearly.
Hannah Barbakoff
International Women's Day is about the evolution of women. The celebration of our achievements. I'm interested to know in what area of your life you feel you have evolved the most. Is it in your personal confidence? Your relationships? Your career? Healing of trauma? Or something else?
I’m not sure if this is the area I’ve evolved the most, but the area I’m most proud of is my ability to like myself and be myself at all times. Loving yourself is one thing, but liking yourself is far more important. In a world where almost every industry is designed to make women want to be more of this and less of that, liking yourself is a radical choice.
I spent so much time when I was young trying to fit in and pretending to be someone I wasn’t. And let me tell you, it was exhausting. Now that I’m a year into my thirties, I’m not as concerned with what people think of me or if I’m fitting in—but in this digital and social age, where our worth is quantified by likes and views, this becomes increasingly more challenging. It’s a never-ending battle because the world is constantly telling us women that we’re not enough. Once I learned to like myself, everything else started to make more sense and fall into place. So as I continue to evolve, I hope and expect to care even less about what people think and live the way that makes me the happiest.