Why Nightstands Are A Window Into Our Souls

Last night, I had a minor epiphany. I had just finished watching Roadrunner, the newish Anthony Bourdain documentary—which is already more depressing than you think it is—and I was loosening up my wrists with this Malin + Goetz Body Lotion I got that day from Modern Chemist.

For context, Modern Chemist is my Brooklyn version of C.O. Bigelow, arguably the best independent pharmacy in NYC. I mention this because for me, well-curated, “neighborhood" pharmacies” are a great place to go when you want to get in tune with your senses and just be extra. ‘Is this exfoliator the one? This candle smells so good. Who decided that a Mason Pearson hair brush was worth $250'?’

But back to that minor epiphany, being that nightstands are the most tangible expression of what a person needs the most. Whether it’s products, side-of-bed snacks, meds, 2 half-read books, or an actual clock, what you keep next to you while you’re in repose matters. To be clear: all nightsttands matter. I caveat this if you’re a minimalist, but even then, I would guess that your essential items are neatly tucked inside your nightstand’s cabinet. 

According to this dated Huffington Post article, we actually sleep for 26 years of our life. Although you should probably fact check that number, I’m going to run with this assertion to support my article about the revealing nature of nightstands.

Here’s a look at mine:

Malin & Goetz Rum Body Lotion: Requires hydration.

Apotheke Canvas Candle: Nice scents are my anti-drug.

Jason Vitamin E Oil: The way I feel about Vitamin E oil is the way that the father in My Big Greek Fat Wedding felt about Windex. It’s some type of cure all.

Thayers Lavender Witch Hazel Facial Mist: I respect the OG. And like a refreshing spritz of any kind.

P.F. Candle Co Teakwood & Tobacco Room/Linen Spray: Have you noticed how strongly I feel about scents?

Veil OG Odor Elimination Spray: You know what it is.

The Brown Derby Ashtray: Hollywood Heux.

Brooklyn Made Natural Fuhgeddabout’ Ya Migrane Relief Oil: The cat is out of the bag: I’m Jewish.

Here’s a look at my boyfriend’s:

Surviving The Great Outdoors: Wants to live in the country.

Opinel Folding Knife: Is prepared for doomsday.

Urban Remedy Pomegranate Ginger Juice: Aspires to have healthy gut flora.

Ganesh: Potentially communes with spirits.

Gemini Lighter: Has multiple personalities.

Pocket Neti: Sinus issues.

Kirkin Beer Ashtray: Obviously just likes Japanese food and beer.

Until next time, folks!